Tuesday, 16 January 2018

still your friend

I spent my life in the shadows chasing your love,

days would pass and I would always think it’d never be enough.

I spent my nights dreaming of a future, of a possibility of “us” ,

but my mind fights with my heart and tells it that it’s hoping too much.

I used to do the littlest things that could make you smile,

anything is worth your happiness, my motto in life.

Yeah, maybe it’s true, I seemed to only have love in my eyes,

you camping in my heart was devastating the thoughts in my mind.

Years could pass by and nothing would ever change,

I’d still care for you the same, that love would remain.

No matter how much we may argue or fight, unresolved issues,

you’re the one person I would never turn my back on to this day.

While those feelings of love have diminished, I’m still your friend,

I will still be there for you, every day right until the very end.

So don’t you worry, princess, I’m here for you if you need a shoulder,

and I will try my best to fix the broken heart that needs a mend.

Wednesday, 10 January 2018

My Heart Surrenders

I’m being crushed by 

the weight of my misery,

I can’t stand anymore, 

there’s nothing to keep lifting me.

My heart was 

once touched by

a love that existed 

in my history.

Until it hated 

my many flaws,

I lost all hope of 

any kind of victory.

And this shadow 

pushes me down,

I can’t find the 

strength to push it off.

I’m losing sight 

and slowly this sound,

I’m losing myself 

and my soul is gone.

What is this feeling 

that is inside me,

it chased my soul away, 

was the devil invited?

My heart is screaming,

in the realms it resides in.

No one listens to 

what it has to say,

or any of the poems

it kept on reciting.

They call it depression,

but I have a question.

How do you label

something that kills us?

We’re physically alive

but we give up living.

Nothing in our minds,

our hearts are wilting.

Decaying in the dark,

no light in our eyes.

Can’t you find a remedy,

please take away 

all of my memories.

I think that would truly

be the best for me.

I’ll die if I remember,

my heart surrenders.

Saturday, 6 January 2018

My Silent Heart

Oh, there she is.

What do I say?

Should I try today?

No. I can’t.

I’m too nervous.

I’m nobody.

She’s perfect,

I’m not even worth it.

What do I do?

She’s so cute,

what do I do?

Tell her the truth?

She wouldn’t acknowledge me,

She’d brush me aside like I was dirt.

A few words define my worth,

and I’m actually scared of

the words that she’ll return.

“I don’t like you”

“You’re ugly”

The words of truth,

I’ve heard my entire life

And never hidden from me.

Yet why do I like her,

she stands out in my eyes.

It’s not her velvet hair,

Or her sapphire eyes,

Nor her beautiful smile.

How would I know unless I try,

but I’m scared of rejection.

I always have been, 

I usually push my feelings aside

and continue with reflections

and those unreal dreams.

I will never be able to share my feelings,

My heart is now used to bleeding.

My thoughts inside my head are screaming,

and the devil’s whispers, “keep on dreaming”

I can only share a glance, 

but never take the chance.

I can only look at you,

but you’ll never know the truth.

I can only just write these poems,

but will you ever read them?