Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Dispersed Mind

Damaged and broken,

that's how you left me.

Shattered in the moment,

I'm deep in my sorrow

yet my heartbeats are empty.

My mind is dispersed,

my thoughts are scattered.

You said those words

like I never really mattered.

I doubted my doubts

but you still stabbed me 

 with the sharpest dagger.

I gave you all of who I tried to be,

I spent my entire life trying to build me.

How was I meant to know,

that I was supposed to see,

that you would be the one to kill me?

I trusted you without hesitation,

cause your love was my medication.

The sickness I suffered, you cured it,

but you have turned out to be 

the reason that I'm left devastated. 

A heart is the most fragile thing,

it breaks so much quicker than glass.

Nothing made me happier

than your last smile did,

but you knew this bond wouldn't last.

You could hear a snakes hiss

but yours was ever silent.

You faked being my fates gift,

I wonder how you managed to hide it. 

It was like you poisoned me in my sleep,

while I was seeing you in my very dreams.

You became the devil I feared,

I could feel the sting in my tears,

It's true; they say nothing is as they seem.

Damaged and broken,

that's how you left me.

None of my doors are open,

fearing for tomorrow

yet I still hope that you'll text me.

Thursday, 20 October 2016

Whispering Stars

I'm so scared to tell you

that I'm so in love with you.

I'm scared that you'll say,

"I thought I trusted you".

I'm scared to open my heart,

and let my emotions run wild.

Causing a whisper in the stars,

the reflection and sparkle in my eyes.

All I ever see is you,

when I'm awake or asleep.

All I ever do is miss you,

wether it's now or in my dreams.

I fell in love with you and I know,

we're just friends and nothing more.

But I was weak and I let myself go,

now you're always stuck in my thoughts.

Your fair skin, your beautiful eyes,

the way that you're caring,

and how you've brightened my life,

sometimes I can't help it

and I can stop myself from staring.

Your make up is always on point,

my heart has made you it's choice.

It gets so bad sometimes that

even in silence, I'm hearing your voice.

I've fallen in love with my best friend,

and I'm always waiting for your next text.

I've never said that I've been blessed yet,

but who falls in love with their best friend?

You're in my mind, you're in my heart,

you're in my life, 

can you hear the whispers from the stars?

It's a new start, you're a light in the dark,

And now you are my life.

Sunday, 16 October 2016

Locked Away

I'm locked away inside myself,

no rope to escape, I'm stuck in my hell.

It's dark in here, I'm alone in here,

why does it look like the sky fell?

I can't see that painted blue anymore,

it's a closed heart yet with many doors.

Which one to open to find the light,

i'm drowning in my sorrow and many thoughts.

You don't know me so how can you judge me,

I could guarantee after 5 minutes you would love me.

Or I used to think that, sometimes I would even sing that,

now it's like I can't trust myself so who would trust me?

It's a new thing everyday, something has to change,

and if it don't then you know it's about to rain.

Grey skies, Grey clouds and a grey mind,

I guess grey is the colour behind the shade of pain.

Fuck it, I whisper this everyday when it's fucked up,

there's always tomorrow to try again and love stuff.

I stay a poet but sometimes I wanna sing about it,

but then I'm like nah, that shit'd be fucked up.

Sometimes I don't really know what my mind is,

sometimes I can never understand where the light is.

It's a challenge just trying to find out what my identity is,

but I sleep on the same knowing how fucked up my life is.

This isn't something Shakespeare or Allen poe would wanna read,

It's for those people who feel the same shit that I feel. 

Fuck imagery, I wanna scream out to the world about me,

and they might hear me, and accept me as another boy with dreams.

I bleed the same way you bleed, breathe the same way you breathe,

scream the same way you scream, sleep the same way you sleep.

Stop treating me like I'm nothing like you and I don't hurt,

this is for those that'll read this and understand how I really feel.

Sunday, 9 October 2016

A Letter To Death

Oh spectre, I'm waiting patiently for your knock at my door,
so I can open it and invite you in to fulfil your daily course.
I'm tired of this life that I'm living, the one I was given,
I appreciate the blessing but I can't take it anymore.

Every day is the same, not a single thing changes,
an ignorant eye from those that pass, friends and strangers.
It's like nobody cares anymore and this is society,
a world full of devils and they've killed off the angels.

I see lovers walking hand in hand sharing in joy,
and my heart yearns for it so with a silent voice.
Yet I was made unattractive and there's nothing for me,
a loving personality is no longer the reason people rejoice.

I feel like I'm hated, and it's making me question what my fate is,
to live a solitary life of pain, is that how had God made it?
It's a test and it's meant to be one we all suffer
but I'm giving up slowly because damn, I fucking hate it.

Even the devil shares my sympathy so he does not provoke me,
he won't whisper to my desires because I'm already lonely.
I don't know how much longer I can continue living,
a life wherein I don't get a text and nobody wants to phone me.

I can't even make friends, they ignore my words,
they shrug me off thinking that their arrogance wouldn't hurt.
It's like I'm not even an actual person in their eyes,
and it's shit like this that truly defines exactly what I'm worth.

I can't take it anymore,  come take me away my friend,
I'll happily give you my soul If I can find my end.
This life is not worth the pain I have to endure,
Please come soon and extract away my final breath.

I have no use for feelings since nobody needs it,
I have no use for screaming since nobody hears it.
I have no use for blood since no one cares If I'm bleeding,
I have no use for life because since day one I've always feared it.

I have no more tears to cry, my suffering has left me dry,
I'm sure you can hear the echoes of the pain in my sighs.
You can usually see life but I have no reflection in my eyes,
I've truly given up and it's time I left this solitary life.

my heart is shattered and broken, my mind is forced open,
what do I have left, what reason?
No happy memory, not a single moment,
I'm just waiting for you through the seasons.


Every morning I stare in the mirror wishing

and despising what I see.

And in those thoughts my mind is drifting,

a little bit of love is what I need.

But there isn't anyone who wants to give me

any affection that I'm dying for,

it's been a long time since anyone has kissed me,

and every day is another reason I'm sighing more

I'm alone and my shadow is nothing but a trace,

a silhouette of the identity that I'm hating.

And it seems like a corner is the only place,

in which I continue to cry and despise what my fate is.

I hate the face that I have been born with,

no one will look at what's inside my heart.

I'm so ugly that they just decide to ignore it,

and I can't even look decent in the dark.

Personality means nothing unless you're attractive,

you need to look like brad pitt to find love.

And to my repulsiveness It seems I am held captive,

never to feel free to find somebody I can trust.

This is a cruel world, wherein weapons are words,

and they can destroy a person to the core.

I'm always at war and it seems I've lost my worth,

it just hurts, I'm being eaten alive by my thoughts.

I'm ugly, a fact that I've lived with all my life,

and I've just learnt that I will never be loved.

No matter how many tears fall from my eyes,

there isn't a lock for people like me, like us.

Thursday, 6 October 2016

Tears In The Rain

I love you.
but you don't feel the same.
Tears in the rain
yet the fire is still a flame.
I love you.
A light in the dark
yet it's still that pain.

A whirlpool of emotions,
in a cycle of it's own motion.
Repeating until a final breath
yet my heart will remain open
until the day it meets death.

I won't let go and I forever say so,
and my heart refuses to.
And each day ends as I pray, though,
as my soul weakens
my heart denies what the truth is too.

I don't know why I love you like this,
my heat beat refuses another rhythm.
Wishes that one day you'll be my kiss,
a moment that even in heaven they listen.

You are an angel veiled
travelling through the world proudly.
Your smile, a beauty so detailed,
how is it that someone like you
could ever had found me?

My love always fails
dabbling at some words profoundly.
Your eyes, a beautiful vale,
a hypnotic sight that causes
me to ignore everyone around me.

I have loved you from the first moment,
you stole the words I thought I had.
You entered into the heart that was open,
and now I appreciate everything I have.

Your presence is a blessing and I'm glad,
thank you for everything that you are.
You sober me when I'm drunk and sad,
Remember, you'll always be in my heart


Sometimes it's hard to find just the right words,

to structure a sentence that would become an epic verse.

A poem that could far justify the beauty of the universe,

a poem that would contain everything we ever learnt.

Sometimes we get writers block and it's difficult,

not being able to write away becomes extremely irritant.

And we doubt ourselves and think our gifts are limited,

when once upon a time this feeling was simply innocent.

I used to feel invincible with my rhymes but now I'm invisible,

but then I've always felt like a nobody, a soul so pitiful.

My existence was mythical and no one believed my poems were original,

How low I felt; heart imprisoned like a life serving criminal. 

Everyone used to doubt me, I couldn't get a sound out, see,

thus I couldn't defend myself and no one found out I was me.

Society judges you on exactly what you look like,

and define your abilities by what they see with their eyes.

So I wrote away, I wrote things I couldn't say,

and they rhymed and so my identity was made.

The world acknowledged my feelings in my own way,

and they realise that I am someone fighting his own fate.

Sometimes It begins with a message or two,

and they evolve into your blessings and truth.

Sometimes they in reality are the lessons you choose, 

let it become you and the very heavens you view.

Sometimes it starts off with a letter you read,

containing advice that it's better you speak.

Live your life and leave the rest of you to dream,

and record them so again they are memories to see.

Sometimes its an email or a text that you open,

a sincere wish from someone; the best that they're hoping.

It's still a message and in every breath and the moment,

united hearts with doors set to never be closing.

Messages. Meaningless to some but it's more than a word,

It's usually the poets that can see the truth of it's worth.

The definition, the context can be left to the literates,

this is something that is the ignition of our world.

Sunday, 2 October 2016

A Chance

Do you hear my heart screaming,

do you know why it cries so?

Did you know why it was beating,

a pain it wanted none to know.

Solitude has been it's only friend,

just the whisper of wind to embrace.

Not a sliver of affection upon it's breath,

the poems it composed just to impress.

Every rising sun and setting moon,

wasted time never to be used again.

One day somebody will hear this tune

through the showers of a winter rain.

This heart cannot even say Hello,

it shies away and hides in fear.

They'll think "who's this ugly fellow"

and I find my self paralysed

never ever to appear.

Afraid of what they might say,

afraid that I won't get a chance.

Dear beauty this is a new day,

Will you please take a look

and see how my heart may dance?

This could be

this should be,

the start of a fairy tale.

A love that

would be,

or could be,

a strength that never fails.

I'm capable of loving you that way,

the way you wish for inside your heart.

These secrets are told to me

by the tangling of the very stars,

so maybe take my hand this day?

and let's create a new start.

Judge me and you won't love me,

just try and you won't run away from me.

Take my hand, I know that you'll hug me,

my words are a letter from my heart,

darling, may I ask that you just trust me?