Fencing away my violent ways in years of a hundred feelings.
Drowning in the pool of emotions that have been nurtured in my heart,
From sadness and misery to distant and breaking apart.
Losing my mind to my conscious; it's lonely voice,
Looking up at the sky; it seems like giving up is my only choice.
Breathing the gasps of sorrow counting the time I want to have left,
Wanting to stop trying to live ; no care in the world for health or wealth.
Nobody could understand my tears; nobody can hear my cries,
Nobody can feel my pain or my fears;
Nobody can see the real me through my eyes.
Even if you caught a tear of mine you couldn't stop the rain,
A thought in the distance going on forever like the sound of the trains.
And the fires blaze; it feels like the stars will fade,
drowning the shadow's shade; suffering every minute of it until it's too late.
Don't embrace me; because nobody can save me,
It's just been too much for me lately; it seem's like everyone hates me.
The whole world is against me; nobody to help me carry this burden,
I didn't do anything wrong; i was being me never intended to hurt them.
Nobody will hear my words; so I keep this diary in my heart,
In poetical and rhythmic words to touch the skies and stars.
I hope the person who may find pieces of this letter understands why,
I suffered in the rejection of my self worth and solitude; so i cried.
Nothing to face now only just to listen to my mind; this pestering voice,
And i hope you understand why dying was my final choice.
It hurts speaking about the reasons why my heart can never be fixed,
Stuck in a world of ignorance; where everyone dreams a bliss.
Realities are the banes of our fantasies;
Living in agony far from happily.
If you walked in my shoes; maybe you could understand what I had to see,
So when you've read this letter; rip it into pieces if you're sad for me.
Narrate my story to your family; understanding my pain is to gain sanity,
Remember the other young children like me;
Wanting to live far away maybe in another galaxy...
Another world because nobody cares; not even mothers' words or tears are easy to bare....
Written in the pain and blood of my suffering;
From a lonely boy who lived his life wondering...