Thursday, 13 December 2012

Screaming Heart

Silence is what you can hear; but enter my heart for a world of pain.
Regrets that haunt; misery that drowns my happiness in it's rain.
A broken heart isn't always mended; or repaired or healed.
A broken heart is sometimes permanent because it's everything we feel.
My life really isn't what i make it look like; what i show to people,
My life is a shipwreck forever abandoned devoured by evil.
I hate that i am a person that succumbs to his feelings;
Crying at the chance crying when it hurts most.
Blood that is pleading; a soul that wants to stop breathing,
Because nightmares have stopped me from the dreams i was dreaming.
A cruel world with a cloud of shadow at it's host.
No one can understand me; understand what it feels to hurt like i do,
Even my shadow has left me alone to suffer; betraying my truth.
A cursed heart hosts my soul to suffer in lingering silence;
I want to break free from misery away from the hindering violence.
I want someone to find me and catch my tear before it falls,
The way i did because of loneliness; forgetting how i once stood so tall.
They say everyone deserves a chance at love; everyone deserves to love and be loved.
They forgot to say that it does not apply to me.
I have been alone for so long that it's been more than enough,
I can't handle a solitude that's worse than death; shoot me.
Cry like i do and find my heart screaming to the stars,
Shaking the heavens and causing hell to tremble.
A scream that thunder fears from a fragile shattered heart;
Broken memories remain; horrible things to remember.
It's time to leave; time to say goodbye to the world,
Time to forget when I've just met the most perfect girl.
Time to erase the past; and forget trying to make a new start,
I'm not restarting only to end up with another broken heart.
Yet even in the deepest agonies i find a light that holds me;
The beauty of that persons smile makes me want to stay.
But then my mind says to go; i don't want to be lonely,
And my heart says stay to love her in every single way.
A struggle against my soul; a conflict against desire,
The hardest war a person could fight in this life.
Could i handle the freezing cold and walk right into a fire,
Or could i stay strong with her smile in thoughts to fight?
If i take the first step away from someone i love;
I also take the first step towards a life in the middle.
She is my best friend and i still could be tough;
but i wish she knew what i went through when i was little.

© 2013, Mohammed Muavia Raja a.k.a MaaviPoet

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